speed

Merry-Go-Round Resolutions

The root of “career” is the Latin “carrus,” meaning “wheeled vehicle” (which is also the source of  the word car).  One French derivative of “carrus” was “carriere,” meaning “racecourse,” and when the noun “career” first appeared in English it meant “racetrack,”  the course of life meaning was a later development.  And the verb career means to go at full speed, perhaps even reckless, not unlike the word careen.  Racetrack

The point is your career is a race around a track where you go round and round to see who wins. You go as fast as you can and then your race ends. Was it fun, worthwhile, did you win?

Makes me wince too--the truth hurts.

To me our race track careers can be more like a Merry-Go-Round. We sit passively on a ride that gives us the false impression of progress and speed. We think we are in control because we we are distracted by the motion, the music and the lights. We can end up going nowhere. Ending up where we began.

Most of us are out of control racers who come around the turn at new year's and make general promises to ourselves and possibly others, we call them resolutions.

I am not a huge fan of new year's resolutions only because people wait for this time of year to make changes in their lives. When we know that change and challenge never waits for the ball to drop in Times Square. Change has to be an organic, inexorable, process of adaptability. (I also feel the same way about birthdays, weekends and summer vacations. Everyday is a chance to change and improve.) However, I do like any excuse to evaluate and reflect upon a time that has passed to commit ourselves to overcoming the gaps in our plans.

How do we avoid making the same general, non-measurable resolutions every year like:

  • Lose weight and exercise more
  • Read more
  • Make more time for a hobby, or start-up business
  • Devote more time to see friends and family

We know these never work. These safe, general, non-committal statements allow us to procrastinate. They are dejavu all over again. Success is not defined. Accountability is avoided. They are nice ideas that will never get traction without goals or milestones.

I always wanted a better life but now I realize I should have been more specific. (I paraphrase Lily Tomlin)

How many pounds by when? How many times a week? What will your resting heartbeat be? What about your BMI? What books, what hobby? And how far will you take your extra-curricular activities. When will you spend time with whom? Who will you help? From whom will you seek help?

Santa-Monica-merry-go-round-720x506Merry-Go-Rounds can give the exhilaration of movement and the delusion of enjoyment, until you realize you have not gone anywhere. 

As Les Brown says, "...then you find out you are behind with your bills and your dreams!"

How do we plan our lives to advance and evolve. Envision and then change, right? Set goals and execute?  Attack weaknesses and man up? 

Is change always about improvement in the future?

Or is it also about avoiding regrets and misery?

Do you respond to a positive vision or to avoiding the negative consequences of inaction? 

Pain or pleasure? Choose.

Is change always adding or is it also subtracting?

Is less sometimes more?

Before you add why not subtract. Maybe getting rid of plans, possessions, and even people will make a difference.

What got you here probably won't get you there. So change is necessary.

Change starts with you and how you envision your future self.

Let's make resolutions that scare us a little bit. Challenge us. Or don't make them at all.

Specify your goals, your timelines, your metrics, your deadlines and hold your self accountable to get off the Merry-Go-Round. 

Devoting more time for others. (Probably only second most popular resolution to weight loss) Needs specificity. Here are a few basic recommendations:

  1. Put these "others" on the top of your to-do list. Make them priorities.
  2. Make a list of the people who you want to reconnect with. Like the list of wines you want to buy or movies to see.....
  3. Schedule your priorities vs. prioritizing your schedule. Set dates and times to meet with, call, e-mail these "others" you supposedly care about.
  4. Set aside time every week to reconnect with someone you know or want to know better. Initiate the contact even if it is "their turn."

You will be the one who benefits from these connections. Yes, you will lead with your help, but you will be the one to reap the rewards of deepening your relationships with others.  

So, stop reflect now and often. Make specific goals for yourself. Hold yourself accountable based on your preferences. Schedule your priorities. These are the rings you are trying to grab to make your ride purposeful and fulfilling. Then your career will get off of the Merry-Go-Round loop and move you down the path.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers

Thanks for reading. John


Speed Networking Can Kill

One of my favorite John Wooden quotes: Be Quick But Don’t Hurry.

When you rush you make mistakes. Speed kills. I should know I have been a speed demon most of my life. I do believe that if you want to succeed you need to move and move quickly. Yeah the slow and steady tortoise can win the race but to qualify and compete in the race of life, you need to move. However, moving too fast, especially without thinking can hurt you. I have had many hard lessons, especially when I was younger, where I accelerated and ran right over my allies and opportunities.  Speed kills

We are all so busy that we rarely distinguish the tasks on our plate. Everything can be treated with the same value and care or lack thereof. That can be disastrous.

Emails, text messages, and communications fly in at you at hyperspace speed. You delete, forward, and reply with the best of them. But we have to know when something requires a different pace and attention. Something personal, sensitive and even emotional requires super slo mo. Otherwise you can come off too transactional and cold. Haste truly makes landfills!

My first marketing manager had a love hate relationship with my proliferation of ideas. He loved the diversity and the ability to  alter the reality we faced. He hated my ideation and the versioning I might come up with. He stopped me one day and said, “Speed, price or quality—pick two.” You may have heard this, but at that time it was a wonderful chilling moment as a young twenty-something manager. He was saying you can’t have it all and speed comes with a cost.

We all learn, or suffer the consequences, to adapt to the situations we encounter in the speed of life.

Last week, I encountered several speedsters, all of them under 30, who made big blunders in trying to react to me too quickly.

  1. Cold e-mail intro leads nowhere--I contacted a young woman that I had met several times to see if she knew someone at a particular company. I was trying to make a connection for another acquaintance. I was researching who I knew who had the “warmest”/closest connection. When I inquired through social media, she said she did know someone (turns out not very well) and immediately made an e-mail intro. The abbreviated uninformative intro never worked and I never heard from that person. It was clear that my contact was trying to be helpful but in her speed she may actually have unwittingly done more harm than good. I later found a warmer connection to that same person and this acquaintance of mine handled it the correct way. They talked to me, they talked to my referee, and then they talked to the company contact. A real connection was made.
  2. High speed brand mis-management—I was introduced to an intern at a company I was visiting. It ended up we were waiting together in the conference room and I asked him, “Where were you before this?” I assumed that he would reveal the university he graduated from. He blurted out, “I got a useless masters degree to bridge me to this internship and then later I will get my MBA. I always wanted an MBA.” Huh? A million questions jumped into my head, but the inflection, body language, and overall demeanor of this young man screamed lack of confidence and even embarrassment. Did he know how much this hurt his brand? No pride in his accomplishment nor affinity with this masters program. I never learned the identity of this “useless” program. He seemed bright but his articulated storyline to a stranger was poorly delivered and thought through. His brand crashed and burned right in front of us.
  3. Failing to Prepare is Preparing to Fail (another Wooden quote)—Had an informational interview and quasi-mentoring session with a young man who wanted career advice. The focus of his inquiry was for-profit vs non-profit sectors. However, this 27 year old gentleman had not done any homework, no research, no introspection, no prep for our session. It was a frustrating time for both of us. He wanted me to tell him what to do and I wanted to know what he wanted. Seemed like he was so busy he neglected to remember how busy I am. So I asked many questions and he had no answers. Mentoring done well, is about the bigger questions of purpose and goals, not serving as a human Google search for careers.

Yes, in all three cases I gave these people feedback on what they said and did......

The point here is to make the time for the relationships that matter. To stop and listen. They are not ALL another to-do item on your list. Get milk, balance check book, make dental appt and get mentored. Get your story together. Think about to whom you are speaking—a person who might be able to help you--even strangers. What is your first impression? Take time to make the actual connections--life is not a video game. 

Let’s be quicker but less hurried. Less transactional, more personal. Make the effort to connect with the person in front of you. If you don’t, the victim could be you.

Thanks for slowing down and reading. John